margaret brown         calamity jane         saws         sailing of the ill-fated steamship titanic   
shakespeare           theatre in st louis       oral communication         anatomy of the theatre
performance workshop I           performance workshop II        teaching english: secondary
writing and performing the 10-minute play
          university seminar
home
           fall 2008        speech exam directives          10-minute play scripts  

 

size

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SIZE-FAT

HE'S GOT DUN-LOPS DISEASE.  (BELLY DONE LOPS OVER HIS BELT)

SIZE-FAT

IF YOU KICKED HER, YOU'D BREAK BOTH FEET.

SIZE-FAT

SHE HAS THIGHS IN TWO DIFFERENT TIME ZONES.

SIZE-FAT

YOU COULD PARK A CAR IN THE SHADOW OF HIS ASS.

 

SIZE-FAT

YOUR MAMA'S SO FAT WHEN SHE FELL DOWN AND BROKE HER LEG
GRAVY POURED OUT.

 

SIZE-HEAVY

SHE'S HEAVIER THAN A TON OF LARD IN A MOLASSES CAN.

 

SIZE-LARGE

BROAD AS AN AX

SIZE-LARGE

SO BIG YOU COULDN'T THROW A FLY LINE AROUND HER

 

SIZE-SHORT

IF HE DIDN'T HAVE SO MUCH TURNED UNDER, HE'D BE TALLER ON TOP.

SIZE-SHORT

KNEE HIGH TO A GRASSHOPPER

SIZE-SHORT

SHE'S SO SHORT SHE HAS TO JUMP UP TO SPIT.

 

SIZE-SMALL

A SHORT HORSE IS SOON CURRIED.

SIZE-SMALL

LITTLE POTATOES ARE HARD TO PEEL.

SIZE-SMALL

MY BATHROOM IS SO SMALL YOU FLUSH THE TOILET WHEN YOU CLOSE THE DOOR.

SIZE-SMALL

MY KITCHEN WAS SO SMALL I HAD TO GO OUTSIDE TO CHANGE MY MIND.

 

SIZE-SMALL

MY KITCHEN WAS SO SMALL YOU COULDN'T CUSS THE CAT
WITHOUT GETTING HAIR IN YOUR MOUTH.

 

SIZE-SMALL

NO BIGGER THAN A MINUTE

SIZE-SMALL

SMALLER THAN A BAR OF SOAP AFTER WASHDAY

SIZE-SMALL

THE ROOM'S SO SMALL YOU COULDN'T SKIN A CAT IN IT.

SIZE-SMALL

WE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH ROOM TO SWING A CAT.

 

SIZE-TALL

HE'S SO TALL, IF HE EVER FELL DOWN HE'D BE HALFWAY HOME.

SIZE-TALL

HOW'S THE WEATHER IN THE CHURCH STEEPLE?

SIZE-TALL

TALL ENOUGH TO GO DUCK HUNTING WITH A RAKE

 

SIZE-THIN

SHE HAS BIRD LEGS.

SIZE-THIN

SHE'S SO SKINNY, IF SHE STANDS SIDEWAYS WE'LL HAVE TO MARK HER AWOL.

SIZE-THIN

SHE'S SO THIN WHEN SHE DRINKS GRAPE JUICE SHE LOOKS LIKE A THERMOMETER.

SIZE-THIN

SKINNY AS A PLUCKED CHICKEN

SIZE-THIN

SKINNY AS A RAIL

SIZE-THIN

SO SKINNY HE COULD USE A CLOTHESLINE FOR SHADE

SIZE-THIN

SO SKINNY HE HAS TO STAND IN THE SAME PLACE TWICE TO MAKE A SHADOW

SIZE-THIN

THIN AS LIPS ON A CHICKEN

 

SKIMPY

SKIMPY AS A FIG LEAF

 

THICK

GLASSES THICKER THAN FRUIT JARS

THICK

MORE OF THEM THAN TICKS ON A COON DOG

 

THICK

THE RIVER IS SO THICK UP HERE THEY RUN IT THROUGH A PIPE AND
SAW OFF SLUGS FOR MILLSTONES.

 

THICK

THICK AS CROWS AT A HOG KILLING

THICK

THICK AS FIDDLERS IN HELL

THICK

THICK AS FLEAS ON A DOG'S BACK

THICK

THICKER THAN FIDDLERS IN HELL

back  next 

 

margaret brown             calamity jane           saws          sailing of the ill-fated steamship titanic   
shakespeare           theatre in st louis           oral communication          anatomy of the theatre
performance workshop I           performance workshop II          teaching english: secondary
writing and performing the 10-minute play              university seminar
home 
        fall 2008          speech exam directives       10-minute play scripts