margaret brown         calamity jane         saws         sailing of the ill-fated steamship titanic   
shakespeare           theatre in st louis       oral communication         anatomy of the theatre
performance workshop I          performance workshop II         world literature          methods of teaching english
writing and performing the 10-minute play
          freshman seminar
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Confessions

by Reema Meer

Those who are interested may perform this play but may not change or rewrite any part of it. 
Reemameer1142002@yahoo.com

 

Characters

Suzan: A 25-year-old housewife.
Jake: Suzan’s husband.

Scene:  In Jake’s office.

 

Suzan: (holding a letter in her hand) What the hell is this?

Jake: Ohh, Where’d you find that.  I’ve been looking all over for it.

Suzan: Well, I’m glad I found it for you, ‘cause now you can tell me what it was doing your drawer.

Jake: In my drawer, huh?  What were you doing looking through my stuff?  Don’t you think you’re a bit too old to be snooping around?

Suzan: I wasn’t snooping.  I was looking for a pen, I went to your office and, incidentally, found this letter.

Jake: Yeah sure, you should respect other people’s privacy, Suzan.  You should have asked me for pen.

Suzan: Jake, stop changing the subject; and just tell me what this is.

Jake: What does it look like?

Suzan: (in irritation replies) It looks like a letter, Jake.

Jake: Yep, that’s what it is.

Suzan: Stop acting like a dumbass, you know what I mean.

Jake: Nooo, what ta ya mean.

Suzan: What you mean what do I mean?

Jake: I mean……what you mean?

Suzan: (Grinding her teeth as she says) I mean, Why does a married man like you have a letter like this?

Jake: A letter like what?

Susan: (trying to calm down  and control  anger…..she holds up  the  letter  in  front  of his face) Jake, this a love letter, why do you  have  it?

Jake: Ohhhh,   It was a gift.

Suzan: A gift?

Jake: Yup.

Suzan: (opening the letter and reading it out loud) “Dear Jake,  I can’t stop thinking about you, please come over tonight and make sweet, sweet love to me.” Generous gift, Jake.  Too generous, don’t you think?

Jake: Well, she’s a very generous person.

Suzan: (takes a deep breath and says) Why am I married to you?

Jake: Beats me.

Suzan: (trying to control herself)  You’re just………you’re so..……..you can be…….your such a ……

Jake: Wiseass?

Suzan: Shitthead, and that too.

Jake: (walks over to Suzan) Look, Suzan, just because I have the letter doesn’t  mean  anything happened. Isn’t that obvious right now.  It’s almost 10 at night and I’m still at home.  I didn’t go and make “sweet,  sweet  love  to her”  I’m here, at home, doesn’t that  mean anything to you.

Suzan:  It does, but why do you still have the letter?

Jake:  Guess I forgot to get rid of it.

(waiting for Suzan to reply, but she just stands there and looks at him)

Jake: Alright, alright; The truth is….I still have it ‘cause…..well…it’s a self-confidence  thing.

Suzan:  A self-confidence thing?

Jake: You wouldn’t understand.

Suzan: Then make me understand.

Jake: Ok. Fine. You know, sometimes, when you ask me to come to bed.  I get  all  scared, you know, cause you can be scary, sometimes, but then ….,(getting excited)  I use the letter, it’s like a self-confidence tool;  I read it; and it gets me all pumped up; and  I’m like, “Yeah, I’m the man, yeah, I got the goods, yeah, I can  do this,……..yeah!”

Suzan: What are you talking about?

Jake: See, what’s the point, you don’t understand. It’s just……...I knew a person like you wouldn’t understand.

Suzan: If this is some kind of bizarre excuse behind the truth  I…….

Jake:  I’m telling you the truth. I swear, you just don’t get it.

Suzan: Fine, then just explain it to me, ‘cause you’re really freaking me out right now.

Jake: (nervously)  I don’t  know, I don’t think I should,  I really don’t know.

Suzan: (holds his hands and tries to comfort himIt’s ok,  you can tell me. Don’t be afraid.

Jake: Well, ok, sometimes I feel like……well….sometimes I think.,……you scare me…..you really scare me sometimes.

Suzan: Okayyyy…..

Jake:  Yeah, but I’m not scared of you all the time; just sometimes.

Suzan: Okay, so when do I scare you.

Jake:  Well, okayummm……..your kinda scary in bed.

Suzan: What?

Jake:  I’m sorry, but you can get really aggressive sometimes. I wish you could just take it down a notch, and you’re always so demanding.  (starts mimicking Suzan’s voice)

“No, Jake, you’re doing it wrong, to the left Jake, no, not all the way to the left!…your so slow,  Jake, why can’t you go faster…” and I’m thinking, damn,  If I go any faster I’ll give myself a concussion.

Suzan: (says surprisingly) Wow, I didn’t know….

Jake: (says in a whiny tone) I know, I know, but what am I supposed to do. I’ve only got so much to give. It’s so hard with you.  Sometimes I don’t know what to expect. You’re so unpredictable.   I remember when I came back from work that one day, I came home and  you were in bed…..dressed in all leather and lace and you had a freakin  whip in you hand!  You were holding a whip and you said, “Welcome home,  honey.” You scared the shitt out of me that day, I thought “damn, what did I do to deserve  this.”

Suzan: (says apologetically ) Oh Jake,  I  didn’t mean to scare you,  I was doing it for fun.

Jake:  Suzan, it was fun for you; but it was pain for me. I was sore for a whole month.  I couldn’t walk straight for days.

Suzan:  Okay, I admit, it was a bit extreme.

Jake:  It was scary as hell!

Suzan: Okay, I won’t do it again. I thought it was spontaneous; don’t guys like that sort of thing?  I thought it would spice things up a little.

Jake: Oh it spiced things up alright.  Its just…..I couldn’t do it…..I still can’t do it…….(asks urgently ) Is there something wrong with me,  Suzan?

Suzan: No, of course not.  Your just a little sensitive…is all.

Jake: (starts to break down) No,  you right……I can’t do it,  I don’t have  the goods,  I’m not the man.

Suzan: Hey, hey, it’s okay.  Stop crying.  It’s okay, honey.  You’re just tired right now.  You’ve been working too hard.  Come on, let’s go to bed.

Jake: Go to bed, with you?

Suzan: Jake.

Jake: Okay, okay, let’s go.  Can we just take it easy for a while……and can we not…..for tonight…..cause I’m real tired and….

Suzan: Of course not, just get up and let’s call it a night.

Jake: Oh thank you, god.  She wants to call it a night.

 

The End

               

margaret brown             calamity jane           saws          sailing of the ill-fated steamship titanic   
shakespeare       theatre in st louis           oral communication          anatomy of the theatre
performance workshop I          performance workshop II           world literature              methods of teaching english
writing and performing the 10-minute play              freshman seminar
home 
       spring 2008          fall 2008      speech exam directives       10-minute play scripts