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Final 4f Just Coffee 1m 2f Quick Cash 3m 1f Jennifer RichardsonIf you perform these plays, please notify me at jrichardson1@maryville.edu.FINALby Jennifer Richardson at jrichardson1@maryville.edu
Setting: Living Room
Characters:
Cecilia (Sadie comes in stage right. Phone rings) Sadie: CECILIA!!! PHONE!!! Cecilia: (offstage) Who is it? Sadie: (into phone) May I ask whose calling? (yelling to offstage) He says it’s Rob from Australia? Cecilia: (offstage) Yea! I’m coming!!! (Cecilia comes running from stage left to the phone but Sadie kind of holds it from her) Sadie: Rob? From Australia? Cecilia: yeeeaaahhh. Soooooooo. Sadie: So? Cecilia: I met him on vacation, I know it’s long distance but I’ll be quick about it. Sadie: well, just make sure you tell the other roommates that you’ll pay for it. You know how Molly is. She has to have everything perfect, no surprises. Cecilia: Fine. Can I have the phone now? (Sadie hands her the phone.) Cecilia: (into the phone) HEY! What’s goin on?…uh huh…really?!…yeah not much here… (sadie kinda looks around) Sadie: (to Cecilia, who is still on the phone) Have you seen Rita? Cecilia: did you check Molly’s room? She said she was going to use her computer. Sadie: What? In Molly’s room? She will freak if she knows anyone was in her room. Let alone using her precious computer Cecilia: She said she’d be quick but she’s been in there for a couple of hours now. (into the phone) sorry about that, my roommate doesn’t seem to care that I’m on the phone. Sadie: Couple of hours! Molly is going to flip out! (all of a sudden Rita comes into the room breathing quickly and panicky) Cecilia: Sorry, I gotta go, I’ll talk to you later. Sadie: what’s wrong? Rita: (speaks very fast and runs everything together) I broke it I didn’t mean to break it it just broke and now it’s gone. All gone! She is going to kill me I don’t know what I did but it’s gone and I am so dead. Cecilia: Calm down, what did you break? Rita: (still very panicky) I have no idea what I did. It’s disappeared, it’s never coming back. What am I going to do? What are the odds? (The whole time that Rita talks, Cecilia and Sadie look at each other trying to make sense of what she is saying) Sadie: Calm down Rita. We don’t understand. Tell us what happened. Rita: I walked in there to use molly’s computer cause I didn’t want to go all the way to the library cause its just too quite there but I didn’t have a disk and I saw Molly’s disk on her desk that said “final” on it and it was the only one around so I was going to save my paper to it cause I forgot she didn’t have a printer so I was gonna go to the library right fast to print it. Sadie: you used her disk? Rita: yeah. But that’s not the bad part. I couldn’t get the disk out of the drive so I pulled real hard and it bent the metal on the disk and when I tried to fix it and see if it still worked it wouldn’t. Cecilia: YOU LOST HER FINAL? You ARE dead. Rita: I know I know, oh my god I know. Sadie: Molly’s been working day and night on her final in there and I don’t think she saved it on any other disk. Rita: I know and I tried to get it working again but I couldn’t. Cecilia: Ooooo I’d hate to be in your shoes right now. Molly’s going to kick your ass. Sadie: Shut it Cecilia, you know damn good and well that if Molly’s in a bad mood, we’ll all have to put up with it. Rita: (still not calmed down) I’m so sorry you guys. Sadie: where is molly at right now? Rita: she had to go to work until 5. Cecilia: what time is it now? Sadie: 4:30. Cecilia: well, what are we going to do? Sadie: we could try to re-type her paper? Cecilia: Yeah right, she has been working on that so hard and you think that we can just whip one up right now? Rita: I don’t know you guys… Sadie: we are all fairly intelligent. What’s the paper over? Rita: I think I heard her say it was over something like Medieval Cultures and Values or something. Cecilia: I had a fashion class and we covered Medieval times. Sadie: I know a little about that time era too. Rita: enough to write a 15 page paper in 30 minutes? Cecilia: we’ll just have to buy some time. (Molly comes in with the mail in her hands and the girls are all shocked) Molly: Hey girls what’s goin’ on? (lines go quickly, on right after the other, it’s okay to talk over each other. The girls run up to Molly while they are saying these lines) Cecilia: Molly! Rita: How was work? Sadie: You got off early? Rita: How are you? Molly: (confused) I’m fine. What’s wrong with you guys? You are all acting strange. Sadie: Strange? Strange! I don’t know what you are talking about. No one is acting strange. Molly: Riiiiggghhhhtttt…welll…I’m going to go check my e-mail I’ll talk to you guys in a second. All but Molly: NO! Molly: why not? Sadie: cause we have a story to tell you, Right Cecilia? Cecilia: (trying to play it cool but not succeeding very
well) Right, we were um just um sitting here and uh
Rita: (noticing that Cecilia needs help) all of a sudden the phone rang. Molly: Who was it? Sadie: Your mom. Cecilia: Yes your mom. She said that you um… Rita: She said that you needed to come home right away Molly: (all of a sudden worried) Oh my God, what happened? Rita: She didn’t say Molly: well, I’d better call her Rita, Cecilia, Sadie: NO! Rita: No time! Hurry she said something about your dog and trouble and… Cecilia: you had better get on the road! Don’t waste any time! Sadie: Take your time! Molly: Okay! I’m goin’! ( Molly runs out of the door with the mail still in her hand) Sadie: okay, that should buy us at least a couple of hours, she lives quite a ways away. Cecilia: we can’t waste any time, we had better start on that paper. Rita: I hope molly never finds out about this, nobody is going to tell her right? Sadie: Right. Cecilia: I won’t tell Molly anything. (Molly comes back in, a little pissed off) Molly: tell me what? (all the girls are shocked again.) Sadie: Molly! Shouldn’t you be on the road? Rita: Yeah your dog is in trouble! Molly: Cute girls cute. I don’t even have a dog. Cecilia: Oh no, he died? (both Rita and Molly look at Cecilia with disgust cause everyone knows she never had a dog. Cecilia shrugs as if saying “I tried”) Molly: I can see what’s going on here. Rita: you can? Molly: yes. I can tell everything. I was mad to begin with but I WAS starting to cool off. Rita: let me explain, I – Molly: - yes, could someone PLEASE explain this to me? Rita: It was all my fault I was only- Molly: --Rita, you are the reason why the phone bill is so high? Rita: (confused) what? Phone bill? Molly: Yes, when I got the mail on my lunch break, the
phone bill was in it and SOMEONE has been making long distance calls to
Australia on a daily basis.
Sadie: Cecilia! You’ve been calling Rob on a daily basis?!?!?!?!?! Molly: That takes guts CeCe considering you’ve been free-loading for the past 4 months. Cecilia: well, I, uh, um, well AT LEAST I DIDN’T USE YOUR COMPUTER WHEN YOU WEREN’T THERE AND DELETE YOUR FINAL! Rita: Cecilia Ann! Molly: what’s going on? Rita: I can explain, I just went in there to use it for a
split second and things just all went wrong.
Molly: I can’t believe you went into my room without
asking! I hate that!
Rita: I’m so sorry! Molly: Whatever Rita! Sadie: Might as well tell her the rest of it while you are at it. Rita: I can’t I feel too bad. I gotta get out of here. (Rita leaves) Sadie: She…um…deleted your final. Molly: what final? Cecilia: The final that was on this disk. (She whips out a disk) (Molly starts to laugh) Sadie: I don’t get it. Cecilia: Neither do I. Molly: (still laughing) Is that what she was all scared
to tell me about?
Sadie: Molly, it WAS your final.
Cecilia: WHAT is so funny?
Molly: I’m just so relieved.
Sadie and Cecilia: Relieved?
Molly: Yeah, I turned that in this morning. It’s not that big of deal. I don’t need it Anymore. I have it saved on my hard drive too. Sadie: So you aren’t mad? Molly: I’m pissed she went into my room but that’s
about it. I’ll get over it.
Cecilia: Awesome
Molly: (looks at Cecilia) but I AM still pissed about the
phone bill
Cecilia: Damn…
Sadie: we should go find Rita before she breaks down into
convulsions
(they all laugh)
Molly: where do you think she went?
Sadie: To the library probably to write you a new paper over Medieval Cultures and Values. (everyone starts walking out) Molly: What? Cecilia: Isn’t that what your final was over?
Molly: No. It was over Middle Eastern Cultures and
Values.
Sadie: good thing we didn’t get too far on the paper
then.
(all laugh)
Molly: (all of a sudden) WAIT!
Cecilia and Sadie: What? Molly: Let her finish it
Sadie: Let her finish the final?
Cecilia: That is sooo wrong.
Molly: Maybe this way she’ll learn to not go into my
room again
(all Laugh) (end play) Just Coffeeby Jennifer Richardson at jrichardson1@maryville.edu
Setting: Denny’s booth Synopsis: Two old friends get together after they haven’t seen each other since high school and one of them has just graduated college. They have different views on the issues of today and it is kind of heartbreaking for them both. Through the conversation they have, they sort things out and stay friends. Characters: Samantha Jamison– Dressed nice\Wrapped up in appearance Believes we should go to war Didn’t go to college- got into campaigning (jump start into politics) Makes more money Justice Smithers- blue jeans and tie dyed t-shirt Anti-war Graduated college Major in Political Science Minor in Sociology Believes that they have grown apart since they argued Sal- Waiter Stoner
(two friends walk onstage and sit down at the booth) Justice: So glad you could pencil me in Ms. Jamison Samantha: Shut Up! You know I’ve been busy with the campaign and all. Justice: For five years? Besides, you act like you’re
running for office.
(Both laugh as their waiter begins to walk on stage) Justice: Hey Sal! Sal: What’s up Justice! Coffee for ya? Justice: You know it! Sal: (looks at Samantha) and for you? Sam: I’ll take coffee (Sal exits to get coffee) Sam: This is a nice place. Justice: Yeah, I come here all the time to work on papers and stuff. Sam: Seems like a nice environment for that. Justice: That is a very confusing word. Sam: What is? Justice: Environment Sam: How so? (Sal comes back with coffee and stands beside table) Justice: First off, it never feels like I’m saying it right. It’s one of those words that you can’t really sound out in order to spell it. Believe me, I’ve tried and that damned spell check gets me every time. Sam: You have way too much free time Justice: Think about it. Environment. (writes it out on a napkin and all look) But when you sound it out? Sal: En-viron-ment Sam: That’s just nuts. Justice Smithers, you think of the strangest things. Sal: (suddenly inspired) hey, what do you environ? (Sam and Justice looked perplexed by the question) Sam: What? Sal: Okay, you have the word government. And you govern people. Justice: Yeah… Sal: So, what do you environ? Environment? Do we environ anything? Justice: Sal, don’t think too hard pal, you don’t wanna end up forgetting your address again. (Sal exits) Justice: Speaking of Government, how’s it treating ya? Sam: Not too bad. It requires a lot of time and commitment considering it’s not even election time, but, you know, (jokingly) REAL jobs tend to require actually work. But you wouldn’t know that, would ya? Justice: I have a real job. I don’t plan on doing it forever, but it works! (Sam looks at Justice skeptically) Justice: we’ll ask Sal. He’s a good guy. He’ll tell us. Sam: coming from a guy who has forgotten his own address before, I don’t know how credible this information could be. Justice: well, you have to understand that it was a very in depth conversation for him. We were discussing the phenomenon of the discovery of certain foods and who was the first person to pull a potato out of the ground and say “here, eat this.” It was pretty interesting. Sam: You’ll have to explain it to me sometime. He forgot his address? Justice: Sal is a bit of a stoner. He recently moved and couldn’t remember where it was. HEY SAL! (Sal returns, refills coffee) Sal: you ladies need something to eat? Justice: no, I just need to ask you a question. Sal: Shoot Justice: Is telemarketing a real job? Sal: Sure it is, you get paid don’t you? (Justice looks at Samantha with an “I told you so” look) Justice: thanks Sal, that’s all I needed. Sal: No problem. (he leaves) Sam: (sarcastically) I guess since Sal said so…(jokingly) I’m sorry, I guess I’m just jealous that I don’t get to sit on my ass all day! Justice: At least I’m not a little bitch for the government. (They both laugh) Samantha: yeah…yeah…yeah… So how are things with you? Justice: things are going pretty good Samantha: Really? Justice: Yeah, I keep myself entertained Samantha: That’s cool Justice: I’m getting kinda bored with things though. I’m ready to just get out there and do something! Instead of just sitting around. Samantha: Why DON’T you do something? Justice: I dunno, I guess it’s just that I want to have all my information straight before I go out there and look like a fool, you know? Samantha: Yeah, you don’t wanna go out like those ignorant pacifist yippies out there screaming “no war” when they don’t even realize how it’s going to help us all in the long run (laugh) Justice: (kind of laughing while she speaks) Hey! Whoa! I am one of those ignorant yippies! Samantha: Seriously? Justice: yeah, of course, I don’t believe war solves anything Samantha: what? Do you know how much the economy will be helped if we go to war? Not to mention how many people will be employed! Unemployment is sky high! Justice: (sarcastic) Well, yeah, let’s just go and kill people because “hey, we’ll get money out of it! (laughs) Samantha: (seriously) Oh, so you think we should just sit back and do nothing? Let them kill us and not retaliate? Justice: I don’t know what we should do, but I don’t think war is the answer. I don’t really wanna get into this right now Sam. I really don’t. I thought we could just get together and reminisce and just talk about what we’ve been up to, you know? Samantha: (snotty like) Yeah, I know I was looking for an intelligent conversation. Justice: Sam, don’t be a bitch. I just don’t feel like arguing right now. Sam: It’s because you don’t know. Justice: Oh, I know, but like I said, I just wanted to relax. Sam: Society is really going downhill. Everybody is so misinformed and no one wants to take the time to get to know the right answers. Justice: Sam… Sam: People are out there fighting but have no idea what they are fighting for! Justice: Sam! Sam: Yeah, keep the peace but no war!? How do they suppose we do it then? Justice: I just really wish you would drop it. Sam: It’s just because you know I’m right. Justice: No, I don’t think you’re right. Sam: Why not? Justice: I think the idea of a bunch of Americans dying over there just rubs me the wrong way. It just seems that we are rushing into war and not thinking a whole lot about what may happen in the long run. Sam: You don’t know what you are talking about. I have been around this stuff for a while and I see that we should go to war. Justice: (finally realizes that Sam is angry and becomes angry too) Whoa Sam, don’t get ahead of yourself, you know I am the one who went to college, remember? (long awkward pause, Sam is obviously hurt by the comment) Sam: Fuck you. You should be the one person out of everyone who feels the same way I do. You SHOULD know, but you don’t. It’s sad that you wasted all that money on schooling to be so unaware of what’s going on. Justice: I really wish you would just drop it Sam, I’m not as aggressive as I was in high school. Sam: no kidding, apparently you’ve forgotten why we wanted to get involved in politics Justice: Oh, don’t start acting all high and mighty cause you got involved sooner than I did. The difference between you and me is that what you know in politics has all been one sided. I, on the other hand, have learned the whole scope of things. You believe what’s being fed to you. I never thought you would do that. Sam: And I never thought you would let college turn you into a heinous bitch. Justice: (smart alecky) Times change Sam. People grow up Sam: I know, and I have. I didn’t need some college professor to tell me about things, I learned it on my own, through experience. Justice: and you see where that’s gotten you. Sam: Better off than you! I have a very important job, I’m not in debt, and I’m doing what I said I was going to do. Make a difference. Justice: Please, you do the actions they tell you to do. “run copies, get my coffee, take my messages. (Sam begins to get up and leave) Justice: (continues) You do what THEY tell you to do and you’ll be what THEY want you to be. You’ve turned into the person that we used to be against. (Sam stops and turns around and starts to walk back) Sam: So, what are you trying to say? Justice: Your values have changed. I haven’t forgotten what’s important I just go different way about getting what I want. Your values changed…You aren’t the person I thought you were. Sam: (turns around and starts walking back out but then turns around again, speaks, still angry but calmer) You know, if I knew this was going to happen, I wouldn’t have agreed to meet you. Why did you bring me here? Why did you bother? Justice: We’ve been friends for a long time. At least, we were friends. Sam: What do you mean “were”? (Justice shrugs
her shoulders and Sam sits back down at the booth) This is so stupid to end a
friendship over a little disagreement.
Justice: well, we never really argued before.
Times are just changing, I guess.
Sam: Never argued before? We argued all the time
over everything and everyone! Sam: Remember that one time we argued over what color your sweater was? Justice: (remembering) And we didn’t end up talking for a week (both laugh) Justice: What about Senior Prom when we wanted to be rebels and non-traditional Sam: So we went to buy dresses from the salvation army Justice: And you didn’t wear yours! Sam: I could spot you anywhere in the room though, that pink dress was so bright you could’ve used it to light Times Square. Justice: (playfully) Shut up! I was kind of partial to the big orange flower on the waist. Sam: That was awesome. ( both sit in silence, realizing that the argument they had was petty) Justice: So, what are you doing next week? Sam: Nothing unusual, but I’m meeting this crazy liberal bitch at Denny’s on Thursday. Justice: I know how you feel, I’m supposed to have coffee with this uptight know-it-all. (both smile at each other) (Sal comes in with the bill) Sam: Hey, you know how when you are ready to leave a restaurant you say “check please”? Justice: yep Sam: well, It’s not really a check, it’s a bill isn’t it? I mean, it’s not like it’s money or anything. Sal: waiting on you two makes my head hurt. What do you two think about this whole situation with Iraq? (Justice and Sam look at each other, shake their heads, get up and get ready to go, Justice throws money down on the table and looks at Sam who is pulling money from her pocket) Justice: Don’t worry, I got it. Sam: Thanks. Justice: oh, you’re paying next time. Just so you know… (both start walking out) Justice: for the record though, that sweater was blue Sam: No way! It was so purple! (continue to ad lib as they exit stage) (curtain) Quick Cash
by Jennifer Richardson at jrichardson1@maryville.edu
( Ken comes in speaking his line (he has a paper in his hand), followed by Randy and Eric) Ken: I don’t wanna sleep with fish! Randy: And I do?! Eric: Look, I don’t know what happened, he said it would be easy. A quick in and out, you know? (Natasha comes in) Natasha: What happened? What’s wrong with you guys? Eric: We couldn’t pull it off. We almost got caught.
Natasha: did you tell “him” yet?
Ken: Hell no! We are dead meat! (Eric throws paper on the ground) Natasha: Shit! Now what are we going to do. Eric: what do you mean “we”? Natasha what did YOU do? Natasha: hello? It was my roommate’s sister’s boyfriend! Ken: I told you guys it wouldn’t work. We shouldn’t have spent our parent’s money like that. Natasha: well, what else were we going to do for spring break? Eric: how else were we going to afford Vegas? Ken: THAT MONEY WAS FOR TUITION! Randy: Oh, well you thought it was a good idea when you were having a good time! Besides, you didn’t have to spend your money anyway. Ken: Well, we still shouldn’t have tried to get a job with the mafia. I knew it wouldn’t work. Natasha: It’s easy cash and it’s almost like joining a sorority. You make life long friends that always have your back. Ken: Yeah, you make life long friends that will kill you if you mess up! Randy: You know, you can find the bad side in everything. So we messed up, big deal, he might understand. Natasha: well, I’ve never thought of the Mob as being really understanding people but hey, I’m new to this kinda stuff. Eric: we all are. How many people do you know who have robbed a school? Or who have tried to rob a school? Natasha: None. But I wouldn’t think that robbing a school would be THAT difficult. Give me a play by play, what happened. Ken: it all started going wrong once we entered the school. Randy: School was in session. Ken: like I said it would be. Eric: Hey, “he” said that no one would be there. Ken: what did you expect? It’s WEDNESDAY! It’s not a holiday! Randy: Back off! How are we supposed to know? Ken: It’s not like you have been out of school for that long! You should know! Eric: I was just doing what I was told. Natasha: Was it a high school? Eric: no. It was an elementary school. Natasha: there wasn’t a fight, was there? Eric: I’m not going to hit a bunch of little kids! Natasha: I’m not talking about hitting them, I’m talking about them hitting you. If you were in a high school they might try to stop you Randy: I think if at my high school I saw some one trying to rob it, I might help them out. Besides, the fact that it was little kids didn’t really matter, right Ken? Ken: Shut up! Natasha: Why? What happened? Ken: Randy don’t tell her! (ken continues to try to persuade Randy not to say anything but Randy says it anyway) Randy: when we stepped into the office, the secretary popped up and kicked ken’s ass! (Everyone laughs but Ken) Natasha: (trying to talk and laugh kinda at the same time) Was she young. Ken: (embarrassed) No. She was old. Natasha: Like, how old? Randy: I’m talking old, like “lead me to my walker” and “I love Matlock” old. Ken: dude she wasn’t THAT old. Eric: yeah, she was. Ken: Eric, you probably need to shut up considering that someone recognized you! Natasha: SOMEONE RECOGNIZED YOU! Eric: I knew the place looked familiar, but I didn’t think any one would recognize me, I went to school there a long time ago. Natasha: did they say anything? Eric: well, they said “hello Eric” Natasha: I mean about the cops, did they say anything about calling the cops. Randy: Nah, we told them that we were just joking around and they told us not to try it again. There was no money there anyway. Natasha: so we have no money to give to “him”. Eric: right. Randy: well… (everyone looks at randy waiting for him to finish his sentence) Ken: well what? Randy: I made a little kid give me his lunch money outside. Natasha: Oh My God! I can’t believe you did that! Randy: I’ve always wanted to do that. Eric: well? Randy: Well what? Eric: Well, how much did you get? Randy: I got ten bucks out of the deal. Ken: Man, school lunches are expensive. Natasha: no kiddin. Ken: So we are going to give the mob ten dollars to not kill us for screwing up the first assignment we were ever given? Randy: Screw that, I’m not giving him my 10 bucks. You know what I can do with this? Ken: Man, I should’ve know, you are such a punk. (Randy shrugs it off.) Natasha: It’s not like $10 is going to get us very far anyway. I’d say all of our lives are worth more than that. I know mine is anyway. Eric: Mine is too. Randy: Same here. So I guess the only person we could possibly save would be Ken, Ken: Dude, shut up! Randy: Hey, I didn’t get my ass kicked by an old lady! Eric: Cut it out guys. You can fight later, we gotta straighten shit out first. Natasha: Okay, did he say he was going to kill us? Eric: All he said was “go here, find the money, and bring it back to me at five o’clock. If you do this, I’ll take care o’ yous guys.” Then he handed me a paper, and I left. ( Randy picks up a piece of paper from the ground while Eric is talking. First he is confused, then he realizes it’s the paper that “He” handed Eric) Randy: Man, is this the paper that he gave you? Eric: yeah, that looks like it. Randy: So you read this, and thought to go to an elementary school? Eric: Yeah I can read Randy what are you getting at? Randy: (mockingly) S-K-O-O-L skool? You read that and thought you had to a place of learning? Eric: hey, I don’t know very many mobsters that went to college. I thought it was a misspelling on his part. Randy: you didn’t possibly think it was Sam Kool did you. Cause I mean, I’m sure there would be more money at the house of a guy who owns the most well known restaurant and nightclub in town Natasha: Not to mention the casino Eric: that’s the same guy? Ken: (frustrated, trying to make sense of the whole situation but can’t) so we robbed the wrong place because you… you… my god… Natasha: (laughing) you guys are idiots! Randy: why did we pick him to go anyway? Ken: who knows… Eric: I was the only one without class… Natasha: Hey wait. Ken, Eric, and Randy: What? Natasha: The money doesn’t have to be there to “his” house until 5 o’clock right? Eric: I know that part is right. Natasha: it’s only 2:30 we can still do it! Ken: I can’t believe we are going to go through with this. Randy: C’mon get it together. Eric: Okay here we go. (All crowd around Eric as they discuss the plan, lights out) (End Play)
Final 4f Just Coffee 1m 2f Quick Cash 3m 1f |