David Vinyard

Tale of Two Schoolboys

Characters

Dillon-main character, only one who understand the bus driver, secretly loves April, and Jared’s sister…lol

Jared-friend of Dillon

Bus driver (old man rivers)-anal about everything, easily disgruntled, and full of unwanted advice

April-Cute girl in school does everything to let people know she is hot.

(Scene starts with Jared getting on the bus and sitting next to his friend Dillon, they have a conversation on the way to school. A few people get on and off, but that doesn’t distract them as much as April, Dillon’s huge crush, and the bus driver, who has regrets about his own life but continually offers advice to the school kids.)

(Bus Brakes Sound)

Bus Driver- Come on, Come on, I got a schedule to keep ya know.

Dillon- Yes Sir, I know.

Bus Driver- Ya know there’s an old saying, “Time waits for no man”

Dillon- I know sir.

Bus Driver- What am I talking about, you aint a man anyway, your just a boy with some peach fu.zz, but anyhow, get goin and find that seat of yours.

Dillon- Sure thing ‘Ol Man Rivers (walks back to find a seat, stops when he sees Jared, then sits down)

Bus Driver- What’d you call me?….

Dillon- (keeps walking) Nothing ….

(wait until Dillon gets back)

Jared- Yo Dil’, why are you talking to that old fool anyway?

Dillon- Old Man Rivers is no fool. He’s old…. That’s for sure, but you shouldn’t say those things about him, he’s not a bad guy ya know.

Jared- Well, there is something wrong with him.

Dillon- You just never gave him a chance Jared.

Jared- Whatever, we all know his mother dropped him when he was a baby….…and then disguised him as a cabbage patch doll just to get rid of him.

Dillon- (sarcastically) oh ok…

Jared- ....I think he sold for a dollar at their garage sale.

Dillon- Oh, and then what, he was raised by apes in the jungle…

Jared- (looking from side to side sarcastically) that’s just the word on the street.

Dillon- Oh come on, the man is just unhappy…. haven’t you ever been unhappy?

Jared- well of course, but then again (pauses to smile) I always have your mother to cheer me up!

Dillon- What?

Jared- (somewhat comically and Louder) Look, you and I both know that your mother is the best looking woman on this side of town. (starts laughing)

Dillon- (Slightly louder still) Shut Up! (Laughs too).

Bus Driver- (disgruntled) Hey, you kids keep down that racket.

(The kids straighten up and look at the bus driver)

(Going off on another tangent) Distractions are the leading cause of accidents on the road ya darn hoodlums. Don’t you be thinkin’ I can’t see you back there; I don’t have this wide rear view mirror for nothin.

Jared- (Looks at Dillon) Told ya he’s got problems….

(They both look out the window for a brief second)

Dillon- Hey, there’s that kid that Taylor John punched in the face last week.

Jared- (somberly) Poor soul--All he did was bump into him in the lunch line.

Dillon- Sometimes that’s all it takes to set that TJ off. You know who he reminds me of, ‘Ol Man Rivers. I’ll bet you TJ turns out just like him.

Jared- (laughing) can you see him:. (Mockingly) “You kids better stop that bumping into each other in the lunch line, or I'm gonna pop you all upside your heads!

(They both laugh)

Dillon- (spots something that makes him nervous through the window) Wait a sec.

Jared- what is it?

Dillon- What is she doing at the stop today?

Jared- Who?

Dillon- (somewhat ignoring the question) Not today, I thought that she…..oh man

Jared- Oh yeah, how could I forget. (Somewhat sarcastically) “Ms April”

Dillon- (still not paying much attention to Jared) I thought she only rode the bus on Wednesdays?

Jared- Well, apparently her mother can’t take her this morning.

Dillon- I wasn’t ready for her today, you know how I do to get ready, so I don’t make a fool of myself and all.

Jared- I know how hard you try, but you make that fool anyways. (laughs)

Dillon- (looking somewhat more in control and wanting to put up a cooler front) I don’t really like her ya know?

Jared- Riiiiight…..

(April Walks on the Bus at this moment)

Dillon- I just think she’s, ….pretty….

Jared- Oh whatever, if she so much as looked in your direction, you’d be down and out like Percy Porker in the mile run.

Dillon- (momentarily forgetting his troubles) Hah, that kid never even makes it one lap before his glasses fog up and he has to sit on that little bench outside Mrs. Rainey’s Class, just to “catch his breath”

Jared- I don’t think he will ever catch his breath either, at least not in our lifetime. He’s always huffin and puffin, even when we are just sitting at our desks, what’s the deal with that anyway?

Dillon- (with a lisp) well, he says its a respiratory problem, but I think its just cause he needs to lose some weight.

Jared- yeah I agree, but speaking of respiratory problems, isn’t it about time you start…..

Dillon- Start what? (sees April) (coughs in the middle of this throat and chokes a bit, and then turns toward the window somewhat in distress)

(April sits a few seats in front of the boys)

Jared- (Prophetically) Ahh, here we go again.

Dillon- (slowly) just give me a break Jared…..

Jared- Oh I would, but only if you sprout a pair, so you can look her in the face once in a while.

Dillon- Easier said than done, and you know it.

Jared- (light heartedly at first) Nope, I'm afraid I don’t….as a matter of fact I think you should have grown that package already…(laughs a bit)

Dillon- (flustered a bit) I can’t handle this.

Jared- I wish you would just settle down and play it cool once in a while.

Dillon- (calming down a little, but still facing the window and looking outside) whaddya mean? like what…?

Jared- your whole (over-emphasizing), “I start to panic and then I look out the window so she never even notices I live” thing, its useless Dillon..

Dillon- I don’t know what you’re talking about. (takes a deep breath and looks out the window intently and silently)

Jared- See, your already facing the window, and every Wednesday we do the same thing, (somewhat frustrated with his friends lack of courage) why don’t you just say hi or something.

Dillon- Are you crazy, she probably doesn’t even know my name!

Jared- Keep it down, keep it down, your about to bring ‘Ol Man Rivers back into this again, and you know he gets…(they both look up to the front and pause, then look back at each other briefly) ….anyway, you gotta talk to her.

Dillon- Look Jared, I made it through five years of grade school just fine, Its like Ol Man River says, “why break a good habit”… (confused)… or something like that….

Jared- (Very Persistent) If you don’t get up the testicular fortitude to at least speak to her by the time we graduate sixth grade, you will be branded throughout all our years in middle school, not to mention what this is doing to your self-confidence!

Dillon- (realizing a little that he faces this challenge but somehow needs to overcome it) Why is it such a big deal anyway? I mean, It’s just a girl. (Starting to look glazed over) a girl with long blonde hair, soft skin, that cute little face, and when she walks by she brings with her such a sweet aroma that….

Jared- (sensing the infatuation) All right Dil’, take it easy; they just cleaned these seats yesterday! (laughs)

Dillon- No, but for real, I think your right. I need to say something don’t I?

Jared- I’ve been your best friend for about three years, and I’ve been saying the same thing every week, pal, you gotta do something.

Dillon- Ok, we need a plan, it has to be well thought out, with a good approach….

(April starts to turn around, unzipping her backpack or something, but she flashes a quick glance at Dillon and Jared)

Jared- Hey Dillon

Dillon- (ignoring Jared, and thinking aloud)...and I need like the perfect Ice Breaker……

(April looks again at Dillon, and scoots one seat to the back across)

Bus Driver- (Apathetically) No moving while the bus is in motion. You know the drill

Jared- (looking from Dillon back to the front) Dil…

Dillon- (not paying any attention at all to the bus driver or his friend) Man, your not helping me think, this bus ride ends in like seven point five minutes! I can’t do this alone.

April: (Scoots back again but across the isle)

(At this point, she is right in front of Dillon and looking somewhat in his direction, but to the side)

Jared- (whispers) Dillon, look 90* to your left man….

Dillon- What? (Turns his head and notices April has come to him) (he is nervous as can be)

April- (cheerfully) Hi

Dillon- ….Hi….

(Jared scoots toward his window, but still listens)

April- It’s Dillon, right?

Dillon- (Gulps) Yeah…

Jared- (whispers softly to himself) Told ya she knows your name.

April- (sheepishly) Your in my algebra class aren’t you?

Dillon- (gaining just a smidge of confidence) Yeah, I sit two rows back and one column to the side.

April- well, here, just come up here for a sec, I gotta a question for you…

Dillon- …But ‘Ol Man Rivers…he…

Jared- (only to Dillon) Get up their dude, your gonna let that old goof ruin your best shot with her.

Dillon- Your right, Ok, here I go.

(April Scoots over)

April- Ok, so I’ve seen you and your friend on this bus all year long.

Dillon- (still without confidence) Yeah, we sit in the back mostly.

April- Right, that’s why it’s taken me this long to finally ask you, but I wanted to know something.

Dillon- (his hopes are starting to rise) uh, Sure, what is it.

April- Your not going to be weirded out if we talk about this right?

Dillon- (looking a little worried and excited at the same time) No, its cool, whats up

April- Well, I’ve been meaning to ask you this for a long time….(pauses, not looking at him either)

Dillon- (getting even more excited now) Go on….

April- I just want to know…..

Dillon- (Confidently) Come on, what’s on your mind

April- Well,……What’s…….(finally coming out with it) what’s your friends name…..

Dillon- (completely dumfounded) Huh?

April- (Somewhat Rambling) You know, your friend, I never see him at school, but I really wouldn’t mind, getting to know him a little better.

Dillon- (Deflated and looking in front of himself)…. Jared?…..

April- His name is Jared! Oh, he’s even got a cute name….

(Say Goodbye---beginning to fade out at 28 seconds, but keep really low in the background maybe until Jared says “didn’t see that one coming”)

Dillon- (depressed) Yeah…..that’s his name…Jared.

April- (somewhat heartlessly) Are you ok, you’re acting weird!

Dillon- Yeah, well no, I mean, Its just that……nevermind…..

April- (completely not seeing his depression) Ok, last thing before you can go back to sit down where you came from…

(Dillon Looking Totally Disheartened)

….I need you to give him this note.

Dillon- (Dejected) ok….sure…….(reaches for it)….this is just not what I expected….

April- Thanks Dillon, your such a good friend! (moves back to her seat after he scoots back to his)

(Song Fades Out Here)

(Wait until he gets back to his seat and she moves back up)

Jared- (excited) So……What did she say?

Dillon- (Still having this depressed and out of body experience, just looks straight ahead) What?…..(slowly) oh, nothing, she just wanted to ask me a few questions….that’s all.

Jared- (Looks at him expectantly) Sooo…..your gonna be seeing her around school now right?

Dillon- Maybe…….

Jared- What?--- come on man, how is this not the best day of your life!?

Dillon- (hands him the note but is still looking forward)…I'm not sure…

Jared- (takes the time to read it, meanwhile, April flashes a smile back at both of them) ……. (calmly) Wow….

Dillon- ……Yeah……

Jared- Yeah…..(now they are both looking toward the front and Jared has a blander attitude) So….I have to be honest, didn’t see that one comin…

Dillon- Yup……me neither…….

(Moment of Silence that is Greatly Needed)

Jared- ……..Hey, Look at it this way, at least you don’t have to go through with this “Wednesday” routine anymore.

Dillon- (apathetically) Thanks…

Jared- Well, you gotta feel somewhat relieved of all that stress, right?

Dillon- I think the only consolation I have is that your mother is picking us up from school today.

Jared- (receiving the ‘momma’ joke with grace and smiles) ok, I’ll give you that one….

Dillon- …and, (pauses) your sister will be there too….

Jared- (taking another hit, but allowing it for the sake of the situation)….yeah ok, ok (Half smiling again, as if to let his friend leak out some of his frustration)..…

Dillon- ….and, (pauses and smiles himself) your grandma, Man is she one fine piece of work, let me….

Jared- What?

Dillon- What?

Jared- What?

Dillon- I didn’t say anything…

Jared- Ugh……I donno man, that’s a little much…..

Dillon- (sarcastically) I don’t know what your talking about…..

Jared- (behooved) My grandma? Mental Images, gross…..

Dillon- (getting somewhat testy) Just gimme a break, ok….I don’t know what I'm going to do with my self now….

Jared- Well, it’s not my fault….-you don’t have to take it out on your best pal.

Dillon- Hey what did she say in that note anyway?

Jared- Nothin’ man, you don’t want to see it, trust me, it’s just easier.

Dillon- Fine, Fine…….(Snatches the note to read) (pause to read) So what are you gonna do?

Jared- Well, I suppose I'm going to have to write her one back.

Dillon- Well, do you think you two are gonna start, I don’t know, start liking each other or something?

Jared- Dude, I'm your best friend……

Dillon- (relieved and taking a deep breath) well, that does makes things easier…

Jared- But (pauses to think ahead), I'm not making any promises for the summer….

(bus stops (brake noises again) and April stands up to get off)

Bus Driver- Alright you hooligans, off my bus, (somewhat like a Drill Sergeant) lets move it, move it!

(boys stand up)

Dillon- (somewhat confused) Wait, whattya mean you wont make any promises for the summer….

Jared- (To himself aloud though) And its only one month away!

Dillon- (Somewhat worried now) Huh, your not….wait, what?

Jared- Don’t worry about it man…….April, Hey, wait up!

(They all cycle off single file out the bus isle, with Dillon last)

Dillon- (to himself but Loudly and determined) That’s it, I AM going for his sister……

(Brand New Girlfriend song at 40 seconds in)